Friday, November 17, 2017

Appeasement and Allyship

So this garbage article appeared on garbage website The Root a couple days ago:


The article (which I would directly link to if I didn't hate the goddamn thing so much) is basically a Greatest Hits compilation of male feminists flagellating themselves. Some choice quotes:
The scope and the pervasiveness of this culture of abuse and our roles in perpetuating it—and not “our” as in men collectively but ourselves specifically—has resulted recently in a reflexive and unwieldy and messy and self-conscious excavation of memories, relationships and interactions: a digging that has intersecting intents. It’s reconciling with what you might have done—and might currently be doing—to prevent yourself from doing it in the future. And, well, it’s asking yourself, “How fucked up am I?” Which, expressed another way, is “Wait ... should I be worried about this avalanche, too?”

The answer, of course, is hell fucking yes. We are all complicit. We are all agents of patriarchy, and we’ve all benefited from it. We are all active contributors to rape culture. All of us. No one is exempt. We all have investments in and take deposits out of the same bank. And we all need to accept and reconcile ourselves with the fact that, generally speaking, we are trash.
WHAT HAVE I DONE OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT HAVE I DONE???

Oh, right. I happen to have been born with a Y-chromosome. My bad, everyone.

Another:
If it helps, think about everything we know about racism. And how the less visible forms of bias combine with both overt acts of hate and the structural racism embedded in our nation’s core on every level to maintain white supremacy. Think about all of the acts of abuse and hate and violence committed against black Americans (and other nonwhite people) and how the well of white supremacy is so deep that we don’t even know where it ends (or if it ends at all).

Now try to apply those same thoughts—particularly the vastness of its impact—to patriarchy. And sexism. And gender and/or sex-based abuse and violence.
It's funny that he brings up racism, because I frequently bring it up as well. More to the point, I frequently bring up the fact that a headline like "How, if You're [Black/Muslim], to Deal With the Fact that You're Probably Trash" would sound exactly like the kind of goddamned garbage you'd hear on a white supremacist website.

Another example:
It’s realizing that it’s going to be hard as fuck. It’s being unconcerned with lauds and pats on the back and any other signs that women have recognized that you managed to clear a shin-level bar. They will be—shit, they are—furious and fed up. At us. At you. At me. At the culture that allowed this to happen. At the country that allowed this culture to breathe and breed. At the fact that it’s taking such an onslaught of terrible news for so many of us to begin to realize that the world treats them terribly. That we treat them terribly.
Uh huh.

And after all of this self-misandry, here is the top comment on the article:


I mean, to a certain extent, she's not wrong. Young's article isn't just self-misandry, it's blatantly performative self-misandry. But her comment also lays bare one of the main problems with articles like this: no matter how much you prostrate yourself, people like this will never tell you it's enough. They will always demand that you give them more.

And this is why I give exactly zero fucks about what kind of "ally" marginalized groups judge me to be. I do not need your permission to support Planned Parenthood. I do not need your approval to support Black Lives Matter. I do not need your blessing to support gay weddings. If nothing else, you know beyond any shadow of a doubt that my beliefs are not "performative" because I absolutely could not give less of a shit about whether or not people like Damon Young and "Wild Cougar" think my progressivism goes "far enough" for them. I do not care if my style of liberalism appeases you or not.

I am a man. I am not ashamed to be a man. And I am not trash. You, dear misandrists, can all kindly go fuck yourselves.

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