Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Escape Room Success!

A few weekends ago, my dad wanted to celebrate his birthday by having all five of us (parents/sister/Steph/me) take a crack at solving an "escape room" puzzle at The Escape here in OKC. My dad picked the most challenging room they had: a scenario which depicts players are "British secret agents" figuring out clues to a spy mystery, and which has only a 15% success rate. But we beat it, with four minutes to spare :D

Monday, April 10, 2017

The epitome of "fem-splaining".

Last October, Medium.com posted an article by a blogger named Lisa O'Neill entitled "Dear Men Who Wish To Be Allies To Women". This article is basically a short-hand "greatest hits" compilation of every spit-take-inducingly asinine and cluelessly hateful thing the modern feminist movement has to say about gender.

A few choice quotes:
It is not women’s responsibility to educate you. Teach yourself about sexism and misogyny and about how to recreate our culture to eliminate them. Just as it is white people’s responsibility to educate themselves and figure out how to dismantle the racist culture we made, you men, the beneficiaries of our patriarchal culture, need to figure out how to undo your sexist and misogynistic ideas, belief systems, and behaviors. You need to figure out how to change internally and externally so that we live in a culture that truly values and supports women.
"Just because I'm an activist doesn't mean I should have to put any effort into making people aware of the issue I'm focusing on! You men need to learn to hate yourselves without us having to teach you how to hate yourselves!"
Check in with the women in your life before you ask them to provide emotional support; make sure they have the time, energy, and resources to offer it. Make sure you have their permission. Notice the amount of space you take up in a conversation.
Meanwhile, when the shoe's on the other gender:

Think about the space you take up. In conversations. In board rooms. At public events. On conference panels. Walking down the street. Think about your proximity to women. Ask yourself whether you are giving them enough space: to talk, to move, to exist. This is especially true if you encounter a woman alone.
Wow – I thought complaints about "manspreading" were stupid back when they were trashing us for taking up a couple extra inches on a bus, and now they're telling us we need to cede entire sidewalks to women. That escalated quickly.
Commit to exclusively reading work by women — from all different countries, with different backgrounds and identities — for a week, a month, a year or more.
"Asking for simple common courtesy", indeed.
This is really important — have conversations with your male friends, colleagues, and neighbors about sexism and misogyny. Instigate the difficult conversations. Ask hard questions of yourselves and one another.
*sees neighbor checking mailbox*

"Hi there neighbor! So have you apologized to your wife for being male today? It's every man's duty to help dismantle the patriarchy, okily-dokily?"

"Fuck off, Bob."
No means no, period. You have no right to a woman’s body, time, energy, attention, respect, and so on.
"However, as I've clearly indicated in this article, we women are ABSOLUTELY ENTITLED to ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT of EVERY man's time, energy, attention, and respect. Because gender equality!"
Similarly, women are allowed to have our own perspectives (and to articulate them in the ways we choose), and just because a woman disagrees with you does not mean that she doesn’t understand the complexities of the situation and needs an explanation.
"So let me continue explaining to you men why you're all ignorant and clueless on every single issue regarding gender...."
Doing this work doesn’t make you a hero, but it does make you a better human. All of us should be feminists because being a feminist means you believe women are equal and should be treated as such. You are doing the right thing. But you don’t deserve accolades or applause, just like a father doesn’t deserve these for changing his child’s diaper. You do get the reward of being a woke man, a man who is moving through the world with integrity.
This one always blows my mind.

Take note, "feminist men": no matter how much you self-flagellate and prostrate yourselves before people like this, they will never, ever, ever say it's enough. Having integrity demands an appreciation of egalitarianism, across not only gender but also race, orientation, and ability – but it also demands that you stand up to self-absorbed, condescending, sexist bullies and misandrists like Lisa O'Neill.

That article led to this exchange:

Admittedly, I was shooting from the hip in the beginning – but I'm actually very okay with how that thread turned out.

"Star Wars Sex Quotes"

Shamelessly stolen from threads on Facebook/Reddit, for your juvenile amusement:

• "Myself, the boy, two droids....and no questions asked."

• "Get in there you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!"

• "You came in that thing? You're braver that I thought."

• "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"

• "Get clear Wedge, you can't do anymore good back there."

• "Governor Tarkin, I should've expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."

• "I don't know. Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Gettin very scared and grabbin that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!"

• "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."

• "It's a trap!"

• "You're letting her keep it? Would you like to know the probability of her using it against you? It's high. It's VERY high."

• "Look at the size of that thing!"

• "Mind tricks don't work on me. Only money. No money, no parts, no deal!"

• "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father...."

• "Judge me by my size do you?"

• "Obi-Wan has taught you well!"

• "Negative it didn't go in. It just impacted in the surface."

• "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"

• "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside..."

• "It came from....behind!"

• "This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!"

• "Great, kid! Don't get cocky!"

• "In to the garbage chute, Fly Boy!"

• "He doesn't like you. I don't like you either!"

• *Tusken raider noises*